JLooney.com

The year was 1988. I had recently acquired a CD player, which was really awesome back in those days. I needed a CD to go with this glorious new toy, and this was what was on sale for $12.99.

Quick question: If you were locked up in a Mexican prison, who would you call to come get you?

Think about it, now – you get ONE phone call (if you’re that lucky) so you gotta call someone that you know would drop everything in their lives to come rescue your ass from some shit hole with bars on it that’s at least 1,000 miles from anywhere, and certainly not easy, convenient or probably safe to get to.

You gotta call someone that won’t get into WTF-happened-and-how’d-you-end-up-in-Mexican-prison stories and inquisitions on the phone, ’cause you ain’t got time for that – Sheriff Sancho is breathing down your neck and could hang up the phone at any minute just because he wants to.

You gotta call someone who can pull together any necessary resources that it may take to get you back on this side of the bars – someone who knows how to make things happen, and how to get things done quick. The less time you have to spend with your PMITA cell mate, the better.

And you gotta call someone who will make you forget the whole ugly incident as soon as you know they’re on the way. Someone who will console you as you break down in tears, running towards them through the heavy gate before it’s even halfway open. Someone who will make everything okay. Someone who will either laugh with you about the whole thing afterwards over cigars and beer, or never mention it to anyone again as long as you live, and this person will know which one of those two choices is the right one.

You gotta call a real friend, someone who loves you regardless.

I can count on one hand the number of people in my life that fit this bill, and it doesn’t take me all five fingers. I don’t know if I’m lucky to have a few such friends when some people may not have anyone in their world that fits this bill, or if it’s depressing and sad that I don’t know more.

What I do know is that I feel like I’m blessed to know these select few individuals, and to know that our friendship would stand the test of one of us being in a Mexican prison and calling for help.

I had the opportunity to spend some time with one of the people on my very short list this weekend. It was the first time in 17 years that we’d seen each other. It was good to catch up, to talk about where we’d been and what’s next. Mostly, it was just nice to see each other.

And as it came time for me to leave, the words of true friendship were exchanged…

“I’d come get you from a Mexican prison.”

I recently had an opportunity fall into my lap.

Really, it was just crazy how it happened. It all started with a Facebook post…

One of my friends posted “I am selling a screen printing press, If anyone knows someone that’s interested, please let me know.”

Well, me and this friend go back several years, so I call him right up and ask him how much, thinking that if it’s around $500 or so, maybe I’m interested.

Turns out, even at my “friend price” he was asking well over five times what I had planned in my head. Funny thing is, I didn’t just dismiss it as a “never gonna happen” passing fancy, but I really started looking at how I could make this work.

Now, I know that I tend to get caught up in the moment, so I bounce this idea off Megan.

“HELL YES!” she texts back when I tell her about it.

I figure Stefahn’s wanted to get into screen printing, and he’d make an excellent business partner because he complements many of my shortcomings (and vice versa), so I ask if he wants to partner with me and go halvsies on the machine.

“Yes.” he replies in true Stefahn form – direct and succinct.

That was two weeks ago. Now I’ve got designs for my first few shirts, I’ve got several jobs lined up just waiting for me to say the word “GO!”, and John, a dear friend of mine for many years, is coming on Sunday to fill in the gaps of what I don’t know. He’s uniquely qualified to do this, his family having owned a very successful screen printing business for many years.

Which brings me to today. I called Chuck, another of my friends (yeah, I’m literally surrounded by resources for this venture! Cool, huh?) a few days back to ask some questions. He currently works as a screen printer for a very large firm in Salt Lake. He told me where to go for supplies and such. Well, when I arrived at Technical Service and Supply, I asked for Skip as Chuck had instructed me to do. After giving Skip my supply list, he proceeded to share all kinds of advice, expertise and knowledge about technique, business scenarios, etc. It was probably the most valuable 30 minutes I’ve spent on this venture so far, he was great!

So, I’m ready to go. You got ideas? I got t-shirts!

So you know how my sweetheart is the coolest person on the planet? Yeah, she bought me an iPhone 4 for Father’s Day, and it arrived yesterday.

Before any of you Apple or iPhone haters start, I’ve already seen the video poking fun at Apple fanboys. Whatever – it’s pretty effing cool and I love it.

But here’s what bugs me – there are three of us on the AT&T account, but to upgrade without paying twice as much for the damn phone we have to order it under the phone number that’s eligible for the upgrade (Stefahn’s in this case), wait for it to be chipped, then go into the AT&T store and have them swap SIM cards.

Yeah, it’s ridiculous, but well worth the $200 we save.

So the phone came yesterday, and we went to the nearest AT&T corporate location on 600 South and Main. We went there because after calling to see if this was something that could just be done over the phone, they told us that we needed to go to an AT&T corporate store to have the SIM cards swapped, even though there’s a Spring Wireless (which is an AT&T authorized dealer) a few minutes from my house.

Well, the idiot that “helped” us took an hour and a half to get my phone working. He also let us know (after the fact) that Stefahn’s phone wouldn’t work until he synced it with his computer. Well, Stefahn was at work at the time, and knowing how much he loves his phone, I could only imagine how frustrating this would be for him. As we were about to leave, Megan said “call me, I wanna see your new phone work!” – it went directly to voice mail, even though she was holding the phone in her hand. I tried again, and when she tried calling me, she found that her phone wasn’t working.

So, back to the idiot, who apologizes profusely (incidentally, AT&T, your customer service – both in the store and definitely on the phone – could use some improvement. I don’t give a rats ass if you pretend to empathize with my plight or apologize insincerely ad nauseum. Fix the damn issue, do it fast, and shut the hell up while you work.) and explains he must have shut off Megan’s phone instead of Stef’s. No big deal, this is actually probably a better thing anyway. Stefahn’s phone still works, and we’ll just fix Megan’s right now.

He messes around for another 20 minutes, hands the phone back, we call each other, the call works fine and we leave.

Well, around 7, Megan calls Stefahn to see when he’ll be home, no answer. She texts him, no answer. When Stefahn gets home at 8, he’s none too happy, and understandably so. We call AT&T, and this guy explains that although he can’t fix it over the phone, any AT&T authorized dealer can do what we need done.

We pull up the the Spring Wireless in Bountiful 7 minutes later, and wi9thin 5 minutes this guy has all three phones working perfectly.

The moral of the story? (shut it, Apple haters, I already know your response) AT&T corporate folks are morons, but their authorized retailers know their shit.

And my phone is really cool.

Yeah, it’s embarrassing to admit this, but this song still brings back memories of my first crush, Jenny, when I was in 6th Grade.