JLooney.com

Weight: 213.6
Body Fat: 32.9%
BP: 135/96
Heart Rate: 83

Well the day started out pretty eventfully at 4:30am. I had my first cup of laxative tea last night right before bed, and it was actually pretty ok. Until 4:30. I woke up and my stomach was all kinds of grumbly and upset, probably mirroring my attitude the last few days.

So I go to the bathroom, and as I’m sitting there doing my business, I start to get nauseous. Like, I’m trying to decide if it’s better to throw up in the sink, or throw up in the bathtub, because I’m not done with my business yet. Then I start to get lightheaded, and the cold sweats set in. Mind you, this ll happens in about 60 seconds. My palms are tingling, my vision fades and the next thing I know, I can hear Megan calling out “J! ARE YOU OK?!”

I guess the thud when I hit the floor woke her up. I know it really freaked her out.

Yep, I straight up passed out, sitting on the can. When I fell off I cut my head (picture above), so when Megan came in to check on me I had blood all over my head and hands (from holding my hurting noggin), which kinda freaked her out even more, understandably.

So I called the doctor today, and told him what had happened, and that I was doing a cleanse.

“Why would you want to do that?” he asked.

“Eating like shit for 40 years, I figured it was time to clean out my system and show it a little respect. I figured this was as good a way as any.” I replied.

“You know there’s easier ways to do that?” he remarked, clearly not really expecting an answer.

He said that it was probably just a combination of my blood pressure medication and the cleanse depleting my potassium levels. He suggested I stop the cleanse, but said I was just fine otherwise.

I’m going to proceed with caution for the next few days.

Oh, and the lemonade stuff, aside from being too spicy for my taste, in’t that bad.

Weight: 213.2
Body Fat: 31.8%
BP: 130-93
Heart Rate: 90

The goods news? My head doesn’t hurt. I really thought it would, but it’s been ok since the first day.

The bad news? I’m so damn hungry I can feel it in my finger tips. Really. It’s funny, because along with this hunger has come a heightened sense of smell. I walked into the office this morning and I could tell what everyone had for lunch the day before just from the smell.

I’m working on figuring out if I think about food more now that I’m so hungry, or if this is just normal and I’m more aware of it now.

This is much harder than I thought it’d be. The truth is, if I had the headaches, there’s no way I could do this.

Tomorrow is the first day of lemonade. I’m gonna go make me a cup of tea, and then my day starts with a salt water flush, which from what I’ve heard, is every bit as awesome as it sounds. Check back tomorrow for the story, it should be good.

Weight: 215.8
Body Fat: 31.8%
BP: 133/94
Heart Rate: 82

Well, today has certainly been easier. Oh I’m still hungry, don’t get me wrong, but cooking all of those veggies into a nice yummy broth has been awesome. I also roasted some tomatoes in the oven that I then pureed and added to some of the broth. It was a pretty good tomato soup, but it needed sugar. Too bad I can’t have any of that. A nice carrot broth would probably do the trick.

I’ve noticed that I get really hungry from about 8:00pm until around 10:30 or so. Dunno why, just know that’s what’s happening. Anyway, I’m tired. Tomorrow is OJ day.

This will be my second year making a run at the City Weekly Best of Utah issue. If you dig what I write and enjoy this little voyeuristic journey with me, by all means, gimme some props and vote for me.

Just click the license plate, register, and vote for me.

Deadline is March 15th, so do it now!

Weight:218.8
Body Fat:28%
BP: 142/102
Heart Rate: 97

A few hours ago I would have said that this whole “cleanse” thing was almost too difficult for me, too big a step all at once (even with the ease-in).

My head hurt, I was tired and could have fallen asleep just standing there in the middle of Whole Foods. And the most frustrating part was that I couldn’t think straight. What would have been a quick 15 minute stop for three simple items on any other day ended up taking the better part of an hour.

As I sit here in front of my computer with three pots of water and vegetables simmering in the kitchen in preparation for tomorrows “meals”, I am astounded by how much I’ve learned already. Before I get into all of that, I really want to put in perspective exactly how big of a challenge this is for me.

I like to eat, probably more than most people. But it’s not just about eating, I like good food – rich, savory, sweet, decadent, amazing and brilliantly prepared good food. And I tend to eat a lot. I know I’m a little chubby. I get it. The truth is, if my metabolism wasn’t as high as it is, I’d probably have eaten myself into a “Jabba the Hutt”-like state of existence. Just so you get what I’m talking about, let me walk you through a typical day of what I eat and how often.

Morning Snack – around 8:00
Whatever I can find to munch on real quick – handful of chips, a piece of bread… whatever.

Breakfast – around 9:00 (when I get to work)
usually something leftover from the previous evening (In-N-Out, DiGiorno) or something that I can cook in the toaster oven while I shower (French Bread Pizza, Stouffer’s Mac-n-Cheese).

Second Breakfast – around 10:00
A Whopper from Burger King (did you know they start serving them at 9:00? Epic…), some crackers and cheese, maybe some soup I brought from home.

Elevensies – yeah, you get it
A quick run to the gas station for a Rock Star and some nachos or a couple taquitos, or a can of Pringles… pure junk food

Lunch – 12:30 or so
Since I live, like, 5 minutes from work I go home for lunch. Sometimes I make a sammich (Hillshire Farms Brown Sugar Ham, a few slices of aged swiss, on Grandma Sycamore’s bread, Mmmmmm), or have a can of soup or chili. Sometimes Megan or Stefahn has brought me lunch.

Tea – 3:30
Now, I don’t know what in the hell the English do for Tea, but for me it’s  something light, like another sammich and some chips

Supper – 6:00
Usually whatever Megan’s cooked up or leftovers. Really it’s just something to get me through to dinner…

Dinner – 8:00
This is the real meal. Sometimes I cook it, sometimes Megan does. This is an entree, a side dish, a bread or starch of some sort, and a drink

Bedtime Snack – 10:00 or so
I’m usually hungry right before bedtime, so this can be a couple handfuls of cheez-its, some seven-layer dip, or even carrots and celery in dill or ranch dip

So that’s it. I eat pretty much all day long. I like food.

Today? Yeah, started with an effing grapefruit. I dunno who thought a grapefruit would make a good breakfast, but they were sorely mistaken. I munched on celery and carrots most of the morning, but it’s just not the same without the ranch. I also had my can of Planter’s nuts and berries. I was bored halfway into the can. Dinner? Yeah, that’s a picture of it up there – spinach leaves and mushrooms with some salt and pepper. Oh, and plenty of water. I peed, like, every hour on the damn hour today. Made me feel like I was 87 years old or some shit.

So yeah, this is a pretty drastic change for me, and I don’t know that I was really prepared for it, but I’m in it now.

Several of you have expressed that you don’t understand why I’m even doing this whole cleanse thing. As I was standing outside Whole Foods talking to a friend I’d met there, I realized that I’m cleansing many different parts of my life. Example: Last year I had one of my hard drives crash and I lost 90% of everything I’d ever done. After paying a data recovery firm $400, I was told there was no information recoverable – it was all gone. My portfolio, photos of me with my grandfather, everything I’d ever written, 4 years of school papers and research – gone.

Just after the first of the year I dropped my external hard drive, causing a crash that result in me losing the remaining 5% that I had stored in other places. I could have just cried.

But you know, 6 weeks later and I don’t miss it that much. Sure it’d be nice to have those things and all of that info (not to mention my portfolio and all of my client files), but I’m getting by just fine without it.

I’ve cleansed my digital life, whether intentionally or through fate.

So I guess it’s time to move on to my culinary life. We’ll see what changes this brings to my world, and what I can live without and don’t even realize it.

15 days to go…