JLooney.com

So you know how my sweetheart is the coolest person on the planet? Yeah, she bought me an iPhone 4 for Father’s Day, and it arrived yesterday.

Before any of you Apple or iPhone haters start, I’ve already seen the video poking fun at Apple fanboys. Whatever – it’s pretty effing cool and I love it.

But here’s what bugs me – there are three of us on the AT&T account, but to upgrade without paying twice as much for the damn phone we have to order it under the phone number that’s eligible for the upgrade (Stefahn’s in this case), wait for it to be chipped, then go into the AT&T store and have them swap SIM cards.

Yeah, it’s ridiculous, but well worth the $200 we save.

So the phone came yesterday, and we went to the nearest AT&T corporate location on 600 South and Main. We went there because after calling to see if this was something that could just be done over the phone, they told us that we needed to go to an AT&T corporate store to have the SIM cards swapped, even though there’s a Spring Wireless (which is an AT&T authorized dealer) a few minutes from my house.

Well, the idiot that “helped” us took an hour and a half to get my phone working. He also let us know (after the fact) that Stefahn’s phone wouldn’t work until he synced it with his computer. Well, Stefahn was at work at the time, and knowing how much he loves his phone, I could only imagine how frustrating this would be for him. As we were about to leave, Megan said “call me, I wanna see your new phone work!” – it went directly to voice mail, even though she was holding the phone in her hand. I tried again, and when she tried calling me, she found that her phone wasn’t working.

So, back to the idiot, who apologizes profusely (incidentally, AT&T, your customer service – both in the store and definitely on the phone – could use some improvement. I don’t give a rats ass if you pretend to empathize with my plight or apologize insincerely ad nauseum. Fix the damn issue, do it fast, and shut the hell up while you work.) and explains he must have shut off Megan’s phone instead of Stef’s. No big deal, this is actually probably a better thing anyway. Stefahn’s phone still works, and we’ll just fix Megan’s right now.

He messes around for another 20 minutes, hands the phone back, we call each other, the call works fine and we leave.

Well, around 7, Megan calls Stefahn to see when he’ll be home, no answer. She texts him, no answer. When Stefahn gets home at 8, he’s none too happy, and understandably so. We call AT&T, and this guy explains that although he can’t fix it over the phone, any AT&T authorized dealer can do what we need done.

We pull up the the Spring Wireless in Bountiful 7 minutes later, and wi9thin 5 minutes this guy has all three phones working perfectly.

The moral of the story? (shut it, Apple haters, I already know your response) AT&T corporate folks are morons, but their authorized retailers know their shit.

And my phone is really cool.

Conflicted.

That’s the best way to describe how I feel right now.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I applaud the Argentine Senate for their actions today in legalizing same-sex marriage. It’s a glorious milestone, and with any luck, other nations will see the merit and wisdom of Argentina’s clear decision that all people are equal under the law, regardless.

Having served a mission in Cordoba, Argentina for the LDS church, I have a very sentimental attachment to the Argentine people.

My conflict, I suppose, lies in some of the comments that my former mission companions have posted today on Facebook and elsewhere lamenting the decision and crying that it heralds the demise of the “family unit” that The Lord intended.

and you know, this uneasiness within myself actually started a few days back when one of my former companions “tagged” me in a Facebook post – a scan of the letter sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the members in Argentina in opposition to the law that was just passed.

Needless to say, I was quite upset and quickly un-tagged myself. I thought it quite arrogant and tremendously disrespectful for him to have included me in his blanket supposition that I’d be with him in his righteous zeal.

Look, I don’t go around tagging people in my posts – photos from Utah Pride, news articles from Human Rights Coalition or Equality Utah, or any other such activity. It’s disrespectful and is nothing more than ridiculous ass-holery.

And you know, although I certainly had the thought, I don’t wish to engage in any point-by-point discussions with them of WHY equality is not only a necessary foundation for peace in our world, but also in accordance with what we preached for 2 years of our lives. I’ve found such discussion dishearteningly obtuse, with those who oppose gay marriage failing to offer any further evidence than “because God says so”. Well no, actually, he doesn’t.

“And again I say unto you, let every man esteem his brother as himself.”
Doctrine and Covenants  38:24

“And there was a strict command throughout all the churches that there should be no persecutions among them, that there should be an equality among all men; That they should let no pride nor haughtiness disturb their peace; that every man should esteem his neighbor as himself…”
Book of Mormon, Mosiah 27:3-4

“…it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds.”
Book of Mormon, Alma 30:7

“I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses saying… because Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I the Lord God, had given him… I caused that he should be cast down”
Pearl of Great Price, Moses 4:3

“…the laws and constitution of the people which I have suffered to be established, … should be maintained for the rights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles; That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment…. ”
“And for this purpose have I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose, and redeemed the land by the shedding of blood.”
(Doctrine and Covenants 101:77-78, 80)

OK, so that last one allegedly pertains to America and not Argentina, but it seems pretty clear that the God these former companions of mine spent 2 years in service to is pretty much on board with equality in all things.

I’m saddened to the verge of tears that there remains a deliberate ignorance and a willful disregard for reason and intelligent discourse. These men were, at one time, dear friends. Many of them still are. I hurt that this advancement towards equality and peace has upset them, and that they choose to see it as an assault on their beliefs. I wish only the best for them, joy and happiness. And if they choose it, fear and anger.

Regardless of your religion, equality will not degrade or endanger your beliefs, your church or your deity. It’s time to acknowledge that people are people. We’re all the same. We all want to love and be loved. It matters not at all in whom we find that love.

Dear Facebook app for my iPhone,

You suck.

You have promised a seamless Facebook experience, and yet, have utterly failed to deliver on even the most basic of Facebook interactions – you refuse to accept a status update at all, it takes you a full 4 minutes to post a comment (yes, I’ve timed you), and even clicking ‘Like’ guarantees no less than 2 minutes of processing.

My only wish is that your ‘developers’ (and I use that term loosely) be summarily dismissed with prejudice and relegated to more menial tasks that are better suited to their abilities, such as retreading tires, or tearing tickets at a movie theater.

Sent from my iPhone.
(using three different apps to circumvent the shortcomings of the one app that should have just done it in one step)

What if one pleasant spring evening you stepped out your front door, your sweetheart of 20+ years right behind you, and as you walked down the steps away from your front door you heard them stumble on the steps and fall. You turned, only to see them gravely injured from this fall. Acting quickly, you rush them to the hospital for the treatment they so desperately need for their injuries.

And what if, hours later, fraught with concern and worry, you are flatly denied when you ask to see them. You question the nurse and attending physicians about the status of the one you love, and you are given no information. The hospital makes the determination that your sweetheart has no family, no next of kin, and completely ignores your existence at all, despite your pleas for understanding and producing legal documents identifying your responsibility to your lover and your relationship with them.

And what if, once they had decided that your dearest friend had no family (willfully disregarding the documents you had produced and your continued efforts), the hospital involved county workers for help petitioning a judge for the power to make financial decisions on behalf of your loved one, representing the two of you as mere acquaintances with no real connection at all.

And what if, with no authority or thought for you or your sweetheart, the hospital and county workers then systematically auctioned off all of your belongings, vacated your home and reported to the landlord that you were no longer living there and turned the now-empty property back over to him, and then forcibly placed you into a supervised care facility against your will.

And what if, three months after all of this happened, you received news that your sweetheart had died, alone, and without having seen you since the unfortunate stumble and fall on your steps.

If this sounds like a terrible and horrific travesty and injustice to you, know this – this happened to Clay Greene and Harold Scull, two elderly gay men living together in Sonoma County for over 20 years.

Clay is now suing Sonoma County.  As the New York Times reports:

County officials successfully petitioned the court to gain some powers of conservatorship. Then they “sold, kept, converted to their own use, and otherwise disposed of” almost $500,000 worth of belongings from the home shared by the two men — including furniture, art objects, memorabilia from the years Mr. Scull spent working in Hollywood, as well as a truck and two cats, the lawsuit alleges.

Mr. Greene said that he and Mr. Scull had previously specified each other as executors in case either became incapacitated, but the county ignored the legal documents and the history of their relationship, and at one point referred to Mr. Greene as Mr. Scull’s “roommate.”

The National Center for Lesbian Rights has joined the lawsuit, calling the situation an example of why “same-sex couples need full equality.”

Gay and lesbian elderly individuals, in particular, are vulnerable because “they are often estranged from their family and don’t have a legally recognized relative,” said Shannon P. Minter, the legal director for the National Center for Lesbian Rights. “Even here, where they had filled out legal documents, because their relationship is so thoroughly invisible and disrespected, it didn’t protect them.”

Mr. Minter said Mr. Greene’s situation was far less likely to happen to the surviving spouse of a heterosexual marriage.

The offices of Sonoma County’s legal counsel have not yet returned calls to inquiring media outlets, and the case has been scheduled for trial on July 16th.

Same rights as heterosexuals my ass.

Imagine that a new drug was developed and released to the world.

This drug, in it’s most diluted form, makes people feel good. Nothing special or dramatic, just a gentle sense of well being. Nothing wrong with that, right? Less dangerous than nicotine or alcohol, and certainly less dangerous than Prozac, Zoloft or any of the other anti-anxiety/anti-deppressants out on the market today.

If the drug is formulated just a bit stronger, in addition to the increased sense of well-being (which sometimes borders on euphoria, it can provide clarity in decision making, or inspiration. Still sounds pretty good, huh?

And if the drug is made just a bit stronger than that, it can induce mild hallucinations along with all the previously mentioned benefits. These hallucinations may include brief visions, lucid dreams, and voices. Not necessarily bad things, but the problem with these hallucinations is that they are indiscernable from reality. If you’re on this drug, they are absolutely real. And no matter how far-fetched or ridiculous the visions may be, there’s no way to distinguish them from reality because at this point the drug has altered the basic reasoning and logical thinking skills just enough so as to be imperceptible to the patient, and usually anyone else around them.

Now we’re getting into scary territory. You see, when the drug is made just a tiny bit stronger than the previous formulation, reason and logic are severely impaired. Common sense flies out the window, and the patient becomes extremely invested in the absolute truthfulness and reality of what they imagine. Some of the more subtle indicators are a general unwillingness to discuss the hallucinations (or even acknowledge that they may be just that – hallucinations and not reality), fierce combativeness when confronted about the hallucinations, and general depression when failing to adhere to what the voices say. Some of the more obvious symptoms can include sporadic and spasmatic dancing, uncontrollable and completely unintelligible vocalizing and muttering of gibberish, and feelings of invincibility. These latter symptoms can include deliberately placing themselves in dangerous and harmful situations and refusing (sometimes violently) any reasonable attempt to help or administer medical care, preferring instead to trust the voices and visions.

In it’s strongest form, this drug is the most dangerous one man has ever encountered. People under the influence of this drug in it’s strongest forms bond together with other addicts and share their hallucinations. Because reason, logic and all critical thinking skills have degraded so drastically, there is no way for the addicts to discern what is real and what is not, and it is difficult for the addict to understand the possible consequences and outcomes of their adherence to their hallucinations. Because of this, the addict will tend to find others with similar hallucinations and symptoms, perhaps looking for acknowledgement and acceptance of their embracing the hallucinations so absolutely.

In cases where the hallucinations and symptoms differ more than slightly, efforts are sometimes made by one group of addicts to persuade the addict with differing hallucinations to join the larger group and share in their particular “brand” of voices and visions, and even to adopt some of the symptoms that define their group. In other cases, there is almost always violent conflict between the differing factions, most often resulting in injury and death to the participants.

Some examples of this are riots in the streets between rival groups (catholics and protestants in Ireland), shootings (Fort Hood), bombings (many times by suicide bombers) and general terrorism and mayhem. When an addict has been using this drug for a prolonged period of time, they become a danger to everyone around them.

You see, this drug is religion.