JLooney.com

Sarah Palin is a conniving and stupid liar, having been caught flip-flopping, waffling, stretching the truth, misrepresenting facts, manufacturing evidence and bold-faced lying on the record more times than I care to count. It seems her daughter Bristol is taking a cure from mommy dearest.

Now, I actually like Dancing With the Stars, but there have been a few seasons I’ve skipped altogether because I had no interest in anyone that was on the show. Well, when I heard that Bristol Palin was scheduled to be on this season, I was ready to skip it altogether. I mean, WTF is it about the damn Palins that make them so compelling? Really? Anyway, she made this little gem of a statement right after it had been announced that she’d signed on for this season:

“The teen mom predicts she’ll be the “most dressed” contestant and vows to have the “most modest outfits” in the cast. Why would she limit herself on a show that’s notorious for skimpy outfits? “Because that’s who I am,” she says.”

Well, apparently who she is is a retarded hypocrite. Here’s the promo photo that was just released. Modest? You be the judge.

So I’ve had around 2 dozen spam comments on my blog in the last 24 hours.

It really pisses me off, for two reasons. First, because it’s some lazy useless dick trying to piggyback on my effing hard work for his own benefit, and second, because I’ve got my blog set up to manual admin, which means I have to approve every comment, which means the only one to ever see the spammers comments is me.

Effing spammer bastards.

So I thought I’d share the only spam I DO like.

Enjoy.

Yeah, I know, I’ve been slacking. I get it.

Oh, it’s not from lack of material or inspiration! I’ve got a bunch of stuff to blog about.

No, this is just plain laziness. So I figured I’d make up for it, do some penance or some shit like that. So here’s the deal: I’m going to make a post each day for the next 30 days.

Let’s just hope this doesn’t end up like my 365 days of beauty thing. We all know how well that worked out…

An Olympian died today. 21-year-old Nodar Kumaritashvili was travelling over 90 miles per hour on a practice run when he lost control and crashed, slamming into an unpadded steel beam.

“Did you hear that a luger died today?” Paulie had shouted across the hall to me from his office.

“OH MY GOD, THERE’S A PICTURE OF IT!” Alex said in disbelief. I got up and went into his office, and sure enough, there was a picture on ESPN.com (link left out intentionally) of the crash.

“That can’t be real, right? Would they DO that?!” asked Alex, neither of us believing what we were seeing. I was stunned at the poor taste of the editors of ESPN.com.

Not more than an hour later, while reading the Huffington Post (link left out intentionally) on my iPhone, I was shocked and disturbed to see graphic photos of the paramedics and emergency crew trying desperately to revive him. It was clear from one photo that he was already dead, his lifeless eyes staring into space. I closed the app and deleted it in disgust.

Hours later, watching the news after the opening ceremonies, I was watching the local news on KSL (Link left out intentionally) and was appalled as they showed graphic footage of the crash itself. I am more angry and disgusted than I have been in quite some time.

A young man died today, not in combat, and not in some domestic or urban scuffle. A young man died today representing his country in the Olympic Games, and the media has seen fit to broadly distribute photos and video of his death.

Once upon a time, many hundreds of years ago, there was a society that similarly found twisted voyeuristic delight on watching other people die. Remember the Romans? If you have ever had a thought about the barbarism of gladiators battling to the death at the coliseum in front of crowds of thousands cheering them on, take a look inside yourself and see what you find there first.

A young man died today, and the media sees a chance to boost their ratings with sensational content. I am utterly repulsed by the choices of ESPN.com, The Huffington Post, KSL, and any other outlet that similarly publicized this young mans untimely death.

Being a child of the 70′s and having grown up on the bizarre stylings of Sid & Marty Krofft, I was kind of excited to hear that a movie version was in the works (Sid & Marty were signed on as producers). I was even more excited when I heard Will Ferrell had signed on. And I was a bit apprehensive when I saw the first preview.

That being said, this movie isn’t for everyone, and there’ll be plenty of people who don’t enjoy. You need to know that Land of the Lost is a perfect trifecta of cheesy awesomeness comprosed of Will Ferrell, Danny McBride, and Saturday Morning 70′s Kitsch. If you have even a mild distaste for any of the three, regardless of how you feel about the other two, this movie is not for you.

You also need to know that certain creative liberties have been taken. In the original Saturday morning version, Rick Marshall was a park ranger, not a “Quantum Paleontologist”, and Will & Holly were his two kids. In the movie version they’re not related at all, and are all three adults, although Holly (Anna Friel) does wear the same outfit that 70′s Holly wore through much of the film – dark red corduroy pants and a red and orange plaid shirt, and at one point Ferrell remarks on what a beautiful wqoman she’s grown up to be.

The film starts out with Dr. Rick Marshall (Ferrell) being interviewed on the Today show by Matt Lauer (who has surprisingly good comic timing – who knew?) about his new book “My Other Car is a Time Machine”. Lauer kinda disses on him, even going so far as to tell Dr. Marshall that Steven Hawking thinks his theories are ‘nonsense’. Marshall storms off the set, and so it begins…

If you watched the show way back when, the story will be pretty familiar – the three heroes travel through some sort of rift in the space/time continuum, and are transported to an alternate dimension full of dinosaurs, sleestak, and of course, chaka. They’re just trying to find another rift so they can get back home, while constantly being pursued by Grumpy the T-Rex and Enoch and his army of slow-moving and utterly inneffective sleesstak.

There are chuckles throughout, several nods to the original show, and even a few real laughs served up by both Ferrell and McBride. Without giving anything away, the ending makes it all worth it, and was one of the funniest moments of the film.

Again, if you like all three of these components, you’ll have a good time. If there’s even one of the three that you don’t love, you’ll want to miss this one.

2.5/5