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Yesterday I was grateful to have the opportunity to reconnect with an old friend. He and I go as far back as our college days, and we’ve kept in touch off and on throughout the years.

Here’s what brought us together: God.

No, not in the way you’re thinking. I don’t know if there was some divine force at work or not. Most of you readers know that I’m not even entirely certain that there IS a God, much less one that actively influences the events in my life both large and small.

A few months back I was really doing some soul-searching and research (internally and externally) on the idea of God. There are several very wise and educated men that I have the privilege of knowing that are devout enough in their faith that I feel it only appropriate to refer to them as “Men of God”. They’re quite a diverse group, belonging to different faiths and religions, and believing in different things in some instances and the same things in many others.

Well, this particular friend came back onto my radar a month or so ago, and I asked if he’d be wiling to indulge me in a discussion about God and his religion. Now, I’m not necessarily looking for God, and I’m certainly not looking for a religion. More than anything, I’m fascinated by these men, these educated and learned men who not only believe in a divine being, but in one that has provided an instruction manual full of rules and rituals for paying homage and worshipping his Omnipotence.

From a reasonable and logical perspective (which I consider mine to be), it just doesn’t make sense. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that there ISN’T a God, or higher power, or SOMETHING out there greater than I am, just that it defies the reason of my own mind that He (or She, or It or Whatever) takes such an interest in my existence among the billions of others out there, and that He requires adherence to a set of peculiar rules and participation in solemn ceremonies and holy rituals. I could spend hours on the subject of how downright ridiculous it all seems to me. I don’t say that to be offensive, or to attack or ridicule anyone else’s beliefs, I just sincerely don’t get it.

But it was for this reason that John and I originally got together. We’ve got enough history together that I didn’t have to waste any energy on worrying about offending him. I had no interest in attacking his religion or his beliefs, I was genuinely seeking further knowledge. As is typical, he and I could have sat there for hours, sipping coffeh and dialoguing back and forth. I don’t know if I got any solid answers, but what I found was infinitely more valuable – a rekindled friendship.

Quick question: If you were locked up in a Mexican prison, who would you call to come get you?

Think about it, now – you get ONE phone call (if you’re that lucky) so you gotta call someone that you know would drop everything in their lives to come rescue your ass from some shit hole with bars on it that’s at least 1,000 miles from anywhere, and certainly not easy, convenient or probably safe to get to.

You gotta call someone that won’t get into WTF-happened-and-how’d-you-end-up-in-Mexican-prison stories and inquisitions on the phone, ’cause you ain’t got time for that – Sheriff Sancho is breathing down your neck and could hang up the phone at any minute just because he wants to.

You gotta call someone who can pull together any necessary resources that it may take to get you back on this side of the bars – someone who knows how to make things happen, and how to get things done quick. The less time you have to spend with your PMITA cell mate, the better.

And you gotta call someone who will make you forget the whole ugly incident as soon as you know they’re on the way. Someone who will console you as you break down in tears, running towards them through the heavy gate before it’s even halfway open. Someone who will make everything okay. Someone who will either laugh with you about the whole thing afterwards over cigars and beer, or never mention it to anyone again as long as you live, and this person will know which one of those two choices is the right one.

You gotta call a real friend, someone who loves you regardless.

I can count on one hand the number of people in my life that fit this bill, and it doesn’t take me all five fingers. I don’t know if I’m lucky to have a few such friends when some people may not have anyone in their world that fits this bill, or if it’s depressing and sad that I don’t know more.

What I do know is that I feel like I’m blessed to know these select few individuals, and to know that our friendship would stand the test of one of us being in a Mexican prison and calling for help.

I had the opportunity to spend some time with one of the people on my very short list this weekend. It was the first time in 17 years that we’d seen each other. It was good to catch up, to talk about where we’d been and what’s next. Mostly, it was just nice to see each other.

And as it came time for me to leave, the words of true friendship were exchanged…

“I’d come get you from a Mexican prison.”

Conflicted.

That’s the best way to describe how I feel right now.

Oh don’t get me wrong, I applaud the Argentine Senate for their actions today in legalizing same-sex marriage. It’s a glorious milestone, and with any luck, other nations will see the merit and wisdom of Argentina’s clear decision that all people are equal under the law, regardless.

Having served a mission in Cordoba, Argentina for the LDS church, I have a very sentimental attachment to the Argentine people.

My conflict, I suppose, lies in some of the comments that my former mission companions have posted today on Facebook and elsewhere lamenting the decision and crying that it heralds the demise of the “family unit” that The Lord intended.

and you know, this uneasiness within myself actually started a few days back when one of my former companions “tagged” me in a Facebook post – a scan of the letter sent from the First Presidency of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints to the members in Argentina in opposition to the law that was just passed.

Needless to say, I was quite upset and quickly un-tagged myself. I thought it quite arrogant and tremendously disrespectful for him to have included me in his blanket supposition that I’d be with him in his righteous zeal.

Look, I don’t go around tagging people in my posts – photos from Utah Pride, news articles from Human Rights Coalition or Equality Utah, or any other such activity. It’s disrespectful and is nothing more than ridiculous ass-holery.

And you know, although I certainly had the thought, I don’t wish to engage in any point-by-point discussions with them of WHY equality is not only a necessary foundation for peace in our world, but also in accordance with what we preached for 2 years of our lives. I’ve found such discussion dishearteningly obtuse, with those who oppose gay marriage failing to offer any further evidence than “because God says so”. Well no, actually, he doesn’t.

“And again I say unto you, let every man esteem his brother as himself.”
Doctrine and Covenants  38:24

“And there was a strict command throughout all the churches that there should be no persecutions among them, that there should be an equality among all men; That they should let no pride nor haughtiness disturb their peace; that every man should esteem his neighbor as himself…”
Book of Mormon, Mosiah 27:3-4

“…it was strictly contrary to the commands of God that there should be a law which should bring men on to unequal grounds.”
Book of Mormon, Alma 30:7

“I, the Lord God, spake unto Moses saying… because Satan rebelled against me, and sought to destroy the agency of man, which I the Lord God, had given him… I caused that he should be cast down”
Pearl of Great Price, Moses 4:3

“…the laws and constitution of the people which I have suffered to be established, … should be maintained for the rights and protection of all flesh, according to just and holy principles; That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according to the moral agency which I have given him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment…. ”
“And for this purpose have I established the Constitution of this land, by the hands of wise men whom I raised up unto this very purpose, and redeemed the land by the shedding of blood.”
(Doctrine and Covenants 101:77-78, 80)

OK, so that last one allegedly pertains to America and not Argentina, but it seems pretty clear that the God these former companions of mine spent 2 years in service to is pretty much on board with equality in all things.

I’m saddened to the verge of tears that there remains a deliberate ignorance and a willful disregard for reason and intelligent discourse. These men were, at one time, dear friends. Many of them still are. I hurt that this advancement towards equality and peace has upset them, and that they choose to see it as an assault on their beliefs. I wish only the best for them, joy and happiness. And if they choose it, fear and anger.

Regardless of your religion, equality will not degrade or endanger your beliefs, your church or your deity. It’s time to acknowledge that people are people. We’re all the same. We all want to love and be loved. It matters not at all in whom we find that love.

Do YOU give a damn about equality?

www.WeGiveADamn.org

I’ve found that the first morning and first afternoon meditations are easier for me to slip into than the second morning and second afternoon ones. Something about still being close to unconscious, I suppose. Anyway, we went into the deepest meditation yet (Focus 15), which was pretty intense. The thing I find most fascinating is the alertness of my mind compared to the completely dormant state of my body – it’s just weird.

Anyway, we also used some meta-music called “Spirit’s Journey” which is basically music with a hemi-sync frequency embedded into it. It was pretty groovy stuff. No visions or out-of-body or anything, just really cool relaxation/alertness.

The day wrapped up with several expressions of gratitude to specific people in our lives and to our surroundings and stuff.

Looking back, I feel like it was an amazing experience that basically just opened a door for me – I feel like I’ll need plenty of practice before this really starts coming together.

Regardless, it was a phenomenal experience that I am very grateful for.

Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3