Jul 14

So the story goes something like this: a receptionist at a design firm in the UK lost her cat, and asked one of the designers there for help in making a poster to help her find said cat without considering the designers time or what she was actually asking for. Here’s what happened…


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.15am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Poster

Hi
I opened the screen door yesterday and my cat got out and has been missing since then so I was wondering if you are not to busy you could make a poster for me. It has to be A4 and I will photocopy it and put it around my suburb this afternoon.

This is the only photo of her I have she answers to the name Missy and is black and white and about 8 months old. missing on Harper street and my phone number.
Thanks Shan.


From:David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.26am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
That is shocking news.
Although I have two clients expecting completed work this afternoon, I will, of course, drop everything and do whatever it takes to facilitate the speedy return of Missy.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 9.37am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Poster

yeah ok thanks. I know you dont like cats but I am really worried about mine. I have to leave at 1pm today.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.17am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
I never said I don’t like cats. Attached poster as requested.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.24am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah thats not what I was looking for at all. it looks like a movie and how come the photo of Missy is so small?


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.28am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
It’s a design thing. The cat is lost in the negative space.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.33am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Thats just stupid. Can you do it properly please? I am extremely emotional over this and was up all night in tears. you seem to think it is funny. Can you make the photo bigger please and fix the text and do it in colour please. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.46am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

Dear Shannon,
Having worked with designers for a few years now, I would have assumed you understood, despite our vague suggestions otherwise, we do not welcome constructive criticism. I don’t come downstairs and tell you how to send text messages, log onto Facebook and look out of the window. I have amended and attached the poster as per your instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 10.59am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

This is worse than the other one. can you make it so it shows the whole photo of Missy and delete the stupid text that says missing missy off it? I just want it to say Lost.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.14am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.21am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Poster

yeah can you do the poster or not? I just want a photo and the word lost and the telephone number and when and where she was lost and her name. Not like a movie poster or anything stupid. I have to leave early today. If it was your cat I would help you. Thanks.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.32am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Awww

Dear Shannon,
I don’t have a cat. I once agreed to look after a friend’s cat for a week but after he dropped it off at my apartment and explained the concept of kitty litter. I have attached the amended version of your poster as per your detailed instructions.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.47am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Awww

Thats not my cat. where did you get that picture from? That cat is orange. I gave you a photo of my cat.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 11.58am
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Awww

I know, but that one is cute. As Missy has quite possibly met any one of several violent ends, it is possible you might get a better cat out of this. If anybody calls and says “I haven’t seen your orange cat but I did find a black and white one with its hind legs run over by a car, do you want it?” you can politely decline and save yourself a costly veterinarian bill.
Regards, David.


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.07pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Please just use the photo I gave you.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.22pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.34pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

I didnt say there was a reward. I dont have $2000 dollars. What did you even put that there for? Apart from that it is perfect can you please remove the reward bit. Thanks Shan.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.42pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Can you just please take the reward bit off altogether? I have to leave in ten minutes and I still have to make photocopies of it.


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 12.56pm
To: Shannon Walkley
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww


From: Shannon Walkley
Date: Monday 21 June 2010 1.03pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Awww

Fine. That will have to do.


from: 27B/6 (worth checking out, the whole site is pretty epic.)

Jun 10

Yeah, I know I missed it yesterday. Deal with it.
via http://fakescience.tumblr.com/

Jun 2

From http://fakescience.tumblr.com/

Mar 22

Just a few videos I found yesterday while surfing that I enjoyed.

Academy Award Winning Trailer

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to Murder

The New Dork

Dec 15

A few months back, Megan came home after shopping with some new drawers (pronounced: draws) she’d bought for me. They were 100% white cotton boxer-briefs. I kinda dig this hybrid design because I look like a dork in tighty-whiteys (I mean, really, who doesn’t?! Come to think of it, I pretty much look like a dork most of the time…) and boxers seem a little too “loose” for me – I like to know that everything is secure and as it should be at all times, and I just don’t get that feeling with boxers. So anyway, Megan brings these new drawers home for me and I fall in love with them – they’re comfortably tailored, fitting just as they should, and the waistband is covered by a soft additional layer of cotton so there’s no elastic digging into my skin – they’re nice drawers.

Fast-forward to a few weeks ago. Megan and I were out shopping and I started looking for some more of these wonderful drawers. After scouring the Men’s Drawers section of the local Wal-frickin’ I came up empty handed. Yes, I buy my drawers at Wal-Mart. Get over it. I found the same brand and style, but couldn’t find the covered waistband which is my favorite part. Megan came to my rescue and found them in a different brand with the covered waistband. I thought all was well, we finished our shopping and went home.

The first time I tried on a pair of these new drawers, I was just as impressed with this new brand as I had been with the Megan’s previous purchase. They fit right, were comfortable and soft, and of course, they had the covered waistband. Bliss.

Until I had to pee.

As I unzipped the fly of my jeans, I struggled to locate the corresponding fly in my new drawers. WTF? Had I just put them on inside-out or something? After a few seconds of frustration (and still needing to pee), I undid my belt and found that my new drawers didn’t have a fly! Now I don’t know whose genius idea this was to NOT put a fly in a pair of men’s drawers, but it sucks. The whole purpose of Men’s Drawers is to HAVE A FLY! Seriously…

Now I’m just irritated at my new drawers, even though they’re comfy.

That picture right there? Yeah, that’s not me. I’m older, fatter, and paler than that dude, but other than that, it could be me. Just notice that there’s no effing fly on those drawers, though. These are the ones I’m talking about!

Dammit. One more thing that just doesn’t work the way it should.

I really wanna know which of the Karma Gods I’ve pissed off so I can make an offering and set things straight.

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