Chef J. Looney

I’m 40. Wow. That’s so… OLD. I mean, I remember when my dad turned 40, and how OLD I knew he was. I mean, it’s OLD. Funny, though, I don’t really feel all that old. I’m grateful for all the friends that came out to celebrate with me, it was a fantastic evening, and turned out better than I could have imagined. The setting was perfect – great friends, good music, plentiful libations, and of course – BACON!

Now, anytime Megan plans a party, it’s pretty much guaranteed to be legendary – she just knows how to throw a party, and birthday’s are her favorite. My 40th birthday was extra special to her, because it was me, and she loves me, and 40 is kind of a big deal. No holds barred, this was the best party she’s ever thrown. No expense was spared, and bacon was part of everything, even the cake. My sweetheart pulled off an amazing party, and I truly felt honored and loved.

And did I mention the bacon?

I’ve had quite a few requests for recipes, so here’s recipes for everything that was served that night (and some things that weren’t *COUGH* lime rickey *COUGH*)

Bacon Popcorn

Bacon Pomme Frites with Bacon Aioli

Deep-fried Bacon mac n’ Cheese Balls

Open-face BLT sliders

Bacon-wrapped Jalapeno Poppers

Bacon Marmalade

Lime Rickey

There it is – a compendium of my knowledge of the dark arts of bacon preparation. If you attempt any of these recipes, I’d love to hear about it. Thanks again for being a part of my big day, even if you weren’t actually there. I love you all dearly, and my life just wouldn’t be the same without you. It wouldn’t really be the same without bacon, either.

The Lime Rickey

There are plenty of recipes out there, and this isn’t a new drink by any means, but here’s the recipe that I was drinking at my party.

Ingredients:
4-5 limes
3 (12 oz.) bottles Mike’s Hard Limeade
8 oz. Citrus Vodka
8 oz. Grape Pucker
8 oz. sprite
2 oz. Welch’s Grape Juice Concentrate
Ice

Make sure you get started early in the day, no later than about 11 am. This is an all-day drink recipe, and you’ll want plenty of time to get through it.

Go down to your local 7-11 and grab yourself a 64 oz. Double Gulp cup. Go ahead and put some ice in it (not too much, gotta leave room for the liquor!) and GTFO. Cut all the limes in half and squeeze them into the cup. Bust open all three bottles of  Hard Limeade and pour them in. Add the vodka, grape pucker, and sprite. Open the can of grape juice concentrate and add 2-3 spoonfuls of the frozen goo.

Get a straw and get to work. When I said “all-day”, I meant it’ll take you all day to drink it, silly, not make it! A word of advice: take it slow and easy, no need to rush.

Bacon Popcorn

This one’s pretty easy, really. You’ll either love it or hate it, but I’m a fan.

Ingredients:
6 strips (about half a pound) thick-cut bacon
3 T reserved bacon grease
1 T olive oil
1/3 cup popcorn kernels
2-3 T butter
Salt

First, you gotta make some bacon dust. See my guide on How To Cook Bacon first. Do that, but cook the bacon until it’s super duper crispy. Reserve the bacon fat. Let the bacon cool, then put it in a food processor or blender and grind it into dust.

Next, get a nice deep roasting pan or stock pot – 6 quart size minimum. Strain all but 1 tablespoon of the bacon grease through a fine-mesh sieve into the pot. Add the olive oil, and turn the heat on high. When the oil is rippling, add the popcorn kernels, cover, and remove from heat after 30 seconds. When you hear the popping stop, you’re there.

Now, melt the butter and add the last tablespoon of bacon grease, and mix well.

Using a slotted spoon, scoop out all the popcorn into a large bowl. Drizzle with the butter, sprinkle with bacon dust and salt, and mix well.

Serves one bacon lover, or a few dozen haters.

French fries with bacon on ‘em? Yes please! And a bacon aioli dip to go with them? Oh HELLS yes!

Bacon Pomme Frites
2-3 large Russett Potatoes
2-3 quarts oil for frying
Bacon salt (recipe follows)
Grano Padano cheese

Wash the potatoes and cut them into fries either by hand or using a mandolin.

Heat the oil to 350°. Blanch the fires for 3-5 minutes, then pull out and let cool. They won’t be cooked all the way through, and thats okay. Just before serving, place them in the oil again for another 2-3 minutes, or until golden brown. Toss with Bacon salt immediately, top with the cheese, and serve.

Bacon salt
1 pound thick-cut bacon
2 tablespoons kosher salt

Cook the bacon (see my post on How To Cook Bacon) until VERY crispy and slightly over done. Bacon should be dark brown and very brittle. Rest the bacon overnight at room temperature on a plate layered with 6-10 layers of paper towels. The goal is to get the bacon completely dry and mostly grease free.

Put the bacon in a food processor with the salt, pulse until the bacon is pulverized and incorporated with the salt. Keep it in the fridge until you need it. You should run out long before it goes bad, but if you’re a bacon wuss, it’ll keep for at least 3-4 weeks.

Bacon Aioli
1 egg
6 yolks
1 teaspoon dry mustard
2-3 strips cooked thick-cut bacon, crumbled
1 cup reserved bacon grease
2-3 cups canola or peanut oil
juice from 1 lemon

While the reserved bacon fat is still warm and liquid, incorporate the oil. This will keep the bacon grease liquid. Cool to room temperature.

In a blender or food processor mix the yolks and dry mustard until just incorporated. With the blender or food processor set on medium speed, slowly drizzle the oil until the mixture is thick and creamy. More oil will give you a thicker aioli, less will leave it runny. Make it how you like. Take the whole mixture out of the blender and gently fold in the crumbled bacon. It’ll keep for a few weeks in the fridge.

Some say Paula Dean makes deep-fried mac n’ cheese balls, too. I don’t know about that, but I guarantee mine are better because mine have bacon in ‘em!

Bacon Mac n’ Cheese balls
1 pound elbow macaroni, cooked
2 quarts cream
2 cups English Cheddar, grated
2 cups Irish Cheddar, grated
1 cup Chevre goat cheese
1 cup mozzarella, grated
1 lb bacon, cooked and crumbled
2 cups panko bread crumbs

In a large sauce pan, reduce the cream by half over medium heat. This should take about 40 minutes or so. Don’t turn the heat too high or the cream will break.

Remove from the heat, add all the cheeses except the mozzarella in small amounts, stirring constantly until all three cheeses have been incorporated into the sauce. Add the macaroni, and let it cool in the fridge for at least 3 hours.

Once the mixture is thick and cool, add the bacon and the mozzarella and stir gently until thoroughly mixed. I use an ice cream scoop to form them into balls, but you can do it however you want. Just don’t make them too much bigger than a golfball or they won’t turn out right.

Coat the balls in panko and then deep fry for 2-3 minutes. Serve immediately so they’re still all hot and melty when you eat ‘em. If you don’t burn your mouth on these, you’re missing out.