JLooney.com

Just when I think I’ve got a handle on things, and I’m feeling like I’ve wrestled my life back into the general direction that I’d like to see it going, I somehow lose control just as quickly. It’s kinda like that poor schmoe on sesame street with all those pies that still can’t walk the stairs.

Remember him? No? Here he is.

Fast forward to 1:25 if you don’t want to watch the whole thing.

Remember him now?

I thought you might. You see, I kinda feel bad for him. He spends all this time making coconut custard pies, which is no easy task, I’m sure. I think it’s a pain in the ass to make ONE pie, much less NINE. Anyway, so this guy spends all day making nine coconut custard pies. They’re beautiful, delicious-looking, and he’s got them all on a beautiful silver tray. As he enters the dining room and announces himself, he realizes “Oh shit! Stairs! I haven’t been able to walk these bitches YET without falling and messing up my shit!” And even knowing that his track record with walking stairs isn’t so good, he’s got these pies that he’s worked on all day long, and the people are here to eat these pies. It’s up to him, and it comes down to these eight little steps.

And even knowing what’s always happened before and what’s at risk, he steps forward anyway.

So just a few weeks ago I was really struggling to hold things together and keep the wheels from falling off my life. Megan and I went away for the weekend, loved each other, re-connected, and I really thought I had it all handled. Sure, there was still stuff to handle and plenty to still work on, but I had my nine coconut custard pies on their pretty trays, perfectly balanced and ready to walk the stairs.

And I’m still perched there, at the top of the stairs, ready to take that first fateful step and deliver these amazing coconut custard pies to all the people waiting below, but today somebody greased the steps and threw a bunch of marbles down. Oh, and the whole room started to tilt and sway like a funhouse ride.

Good times. It’s like somebody is saying “you SAY you can walk these stairs, but let’s see how serious you REALLY are!”

And I take the first step…