When I heard about the California Supreme Court’s decision (with a single dissenting vote from Justice Carlos R. Moreno) to uphold Proposition 8, I was not surprised, but greatly saddened. Although the 18,000+ marriages that were performed while marriage was “legal” in California will still be held as legal unions, this is feels like a hollow victory. There are no real winners here, although I’m certain that the religious right feels they’ve gained something, defending some bastion of Christianity and conservative morals.
I posted my discontent on FaceBook, and was almost immediately inundated with responses. The thread is a worthwhile read, with a (very) wide variety of contributors, ranging from an LDS Lawyer, an atheist, several gay and lesbian contributors, and LDS folks contributing on different levels. I know I’m good at stirring up shit, but I didn’t expect this scale of shit-storm.
Before I get into any of the discussion there, I want to open a door that is rarely even slightly ajar in this discussion, and that’s the door of humanity. My perception is that by and large, we (myself included) tend to forget that this issue is born from a very human need of two people professing and solidifying a connection, either through ceremony, legal action or both.
The following was written by a friend of mine, who is a truly magnificent human being:
Written on Thanksgiving Day 2007 reflecting on a night in Nov. 2005
Two years ago. . I stood on a cool November night, on the steps of the Lincoln memorial in the very spot that Dr. King delivered those fateful words and I wept
I cried for the thousands, millions even who went before me and lived in this country as second class citizens.
I wept for the oppression that was exercised by my own slaveholder forefathers.
I wept to honor the bravery of men and woman who dared stand up against the lynch mobs and their nooses.
I wept for my Latin brothers and sisters who are experiencing the Jim Crow of today.
I wept for Matthew Sheppard who did nothing of import to have been pinned to a fence and beaten and left for dead.
And lastly I wept for myself who has stood amongst all kinds of men, served in my country’s armed forces, served my God and church as a missionary, earned degrees from the most revered of our educational halls, consulted in the halls of congress, and stood in the very oval office of the President of the United States, and who despite that, is still a second class citizen. Unable to be treated equally by the law, unable to marry the man I love, pushed to the back of society’s bus. . .
Standing on that hallowed ground, I looked out on the night sky and the lights along the National Mall, blurred by the quite emotional tears rolling down my face I looked out with hope. . .In an instant my resolve shifted – I felt less the victim and more the soldier. My boyfriend stood at Lincoln’s feet some distance behind me, Alone in that spot, on the stairs of the memorial I heard the voice. “You’re day will come. But, you too must stand, act, and say alowed: “I too have a dream”. . .”
J. Knight Ord III
And here’s my own story:
I’m no stranger to what this feels like, although I am a straight man that is happily (and gratefully) married to his sweetheart. You see, I was once a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, a Mormon. I went to church on sundays. I read my scriptures. It wasn’t often or regularly, but I did read and even study them. Megan and I went to the temple, and as a matter of our faith, strongly desired to be sealed in the temple.
Being a second marriage for both of us, there was some intricacy to this matter. In layman’s terms, we had each been “sealed” (which is best described as a part of marriage binding us to each other for time and throughout all eternity, rather than just the temporal existence of this earth) to our former spouses, and as such, had to have the sealing “undone” in order to then be sealed to each other.
This annulment of the sealing requires the permission of the First Presidency of the church – the Prophet, and both of his counselors. Each case for annulment is reviewed by them personally. On our end, this meant MANY interviews with our Bishop and Stake President, and lots of paperwork.
Once we had everything complete, we sent it off to the First Presidency and waited. We waited for a very long time, and we were anxious to be sealed together, but the answer came back as a “no”. No real reason given, just plain “no”.
We fasted, prayed, went to the temple, met with our Bishop, met with our Stake President, prepared the paers again, submitted them again, waited again… and again, were told “no”.
Several tiems we went through this same process, over the course of about 3 years. After awhile, it became to painful to ask and be denied, over and over again.
Megan and I ultimately decided that it wasn’t worth pursuing any longer, and gave up the fight.
So, although I do not experience this current struggle as one being denied a right, I know this pain. There’s not much to say that I haven’t already on this issue. I believe that it’s very clearly a civil rights issue. My friend James Ord has expressed it quite eloquently, and being a very gifted attorney, he knows of what he speaks.
We live in a constituionally governed society. This republic was established to create a set of laws that governs on the the practical concensus of society’s notions of what the law is. Our government was established with the notion that there are rights and liberties that supercede the constition, for they are naturally endowed upon man by his creator. AND Our very foundations as a republic are established upon the notion of a natural law right to egalite.
As you work against the notion of egalite you define yourself outside the very scope of what it means to be a part of the republic. And by so doing you place yourself in the company of those men who also fought to the very end to uphold the notion that a human being may be owned. A notion they claimed thier God so endorsed.
[The U.S. Constitution gives] every human the following NATURAL LAW, INALIENABLE, GOD GIVEN, FUNDEMENTAL, HUMAN RIGHTS: right to Life, Liberty, to poses Property, the pursuite of happiness which includes freedom of movement, association, speech, the press, and pro-creation, The Right of Egalite before the law, and the right to defend these rights by such means as become necessary.
Those rights are mine and every human’s by virtue of being born. They supercede all constituions, and all legislative acts. They are the basis for society, Constituions are made to insure that they are protected from infringement by both each other, and by the Government. I do not need, nor do I want the Government to grant them to me. They cannot grant me what is mine by birthright. What I want the government to do is to stop infringing upon them. When the Government singles any group and strips them of any of those rights. The government has defeated its very purpose for existance.
In this case we are talking about Gay’s and their right to Egalite.
You’re logic is fundementally flawed because you assume that “gay people will never get the rights we say we deserve”
You see there is no need to “get the right.” You already posses it. It is being infringed upon. But it is YOURS by birthright.
So you see there is no need for consent, there is no need, nor is there any justification for any solution that requires agreement of both sides. I do not need, require, nor even seek the consent or agreement of ANYONE who opposes my natural law, inlienable, god given, fundemental human rights. They have no more authority to deny my rights than I do to deny theirs.
Ultimately, for the reasons I stated above. I WILL PREVAIL. Not because it is me, not because it is ego, but because I WILL defend my NATURAL LAW, INALIENABLE, GOD GIVEN, FUNDEMENTAL, HUMAN RIGHTS
If you’re interested, you can read that whole thread here, although the only part worth reading, in my opinion, is the entries by James.
There’s not much more I can say. The battle has already been won, they just don’t know it yet.
