Weight: 207.2
Body Fat: 32.6%
BP: 135/90
Heart Rate: 72
I’m cold all the time. I’m never cold, especially my hands. My hands are almost always hot. I use them to warm up Megan all the time. Not lately, always cold. I don’t know why that is, so if one of you do, please tell me.
Some of you have asked which cleanse this is or what it’s called, and have also requested details on my daily routine.
It’s called The Master Cleanse, and I learned about it from some of my friends who had done it. It’s basically a 3-day period weaning yourself off food, 10 days of drinking lemonade and “shitting” (it’s more like butt-tsunamis) salt water, and 3 days of easing back to normal food. 16 days. Think about that one before you decide to try this. I know it’s been more of a challenge than I thought, and I can be a stubborn sonofabitch. Just sayin’.
My daily routine goes something like this:
6:30 wake up and drag my crack outta bed.
6:45 make my saltwater flush (1 T sea salt, uniodized + 1 liter pure water filtered through my Britta pitcher)
7:00 finish drinking salt water and wait. While I’m waiting I make my lemonade (juice from 2 lemons, 6 T Grade B maple syrup, 1/4 t cayenne pepper, 24 oz pure water)
8:00-8:30 make several trips to the bathroom for salt water tsunamis
8:45 head to work
9:00 – 12:30 drink 24 oz lemonade and at least 24 oz pure water
12:45 home from work for lunch, make more lemonade
1:15 go back to work
1:20 – 6:00 drink 24 oz lemonade and at least 24 oz water
6:15 home. make more lemonade
6:30-10:00 drink 24 oz lemonade and at least 24 oz pure water. Putz around the house, surf the net, watch tv, hallucinate about food.
10:00 make laxative tea, appropriately named “Smooth Move”
10:30 bed time
So there it is. My day starts with salt water tsunamis and ends with a laxative tea to prepare for the next days tsunamis, and it’s filled with spicy lemony goodness in between. Good times.
